"I think I ..."
Last night I had a dream that was rather interesting.I dreamt I was at Beulah camp, but that my sister and I went for a drive. We ended up meeting this rich family who had their home just down the river on the side of the mountain. We visited with them in their home, and the Dad was telling us all about the house and how it was engineered into the side of the hill. Now just as we were leaving my sister somehow tripped him, and he hurt his knee.
Before even calling the doctor, his wife got on the phone with their lawyer and got an estimate of 13 million for a settlement. I thought this was quite strange, and started to panick inwardly.
As his son was helping him into the car he said, "I think I have an ego problem."
I laid hands on him and prayed for his knee, but as I started to pray about his ego, it was as if my voice dried up...
I woke up knowing that God was to deal with "who" I am, not "what" I am. When I went on my last missions adventure we talked so much about how the "who you are in Christ is your greatest ministry." Another way it can be phrased is, "the greatest gift you can ever give anyone is your own personal relationship with Christ."
I've been struggling so much, an identity crisis of sorts. For much of my life I've been a student, and last year a pastor. With the tranisition happening at the church, I no longer have that title to define me. And as a solution, instead of focusing on my relationship with God, I've been trying to figure out the whats and the whens and wheres, but neglecting the who...
I've been focused on the knee, and not on the ego. I've been looking at the problem and not seeing how God is calling out to me in the midst of my circumstances to become more like Jesus.
Labels: dreams
